Gloveless
by Mr. Wuggles
Summary: It's finally done! I've done it! Give me a cookie! holds out hand It took so long to decide on an ending, but I did it! R&R please!
1. The Plan Unfolds

BULMA:

Here he comes. Down the stairs and into the kitchen. He plops down next to Bra and begins to eat. I don't realize I'm staring at him until he says, "Woman, I know I'm sexy, but you are just going to have to stop staring at me."

He didn't even look up to see my reaction, which was good because I'm sure I looked ridiculous.

Bra giggled at the comment and Trunks snickered.

I glared at him, "Aren't you late for school?" I asked.

"It's Saturday." He answered smugly.

"What about work?"

"Crap!" then all I saw was the back of his head as he raced down the hall.

Bra giggled again and continued to inhale her food like her father. Then she suddenly stopped and looked down at table.

Vegeta looked over at her curiously and was about to say something when she interrupted him. "Daddy, why do you always wear gloves?"

He hesitated and looked over to me. "Yeah, way _do _you wear those? All the time I've known you, you never taken them off. Not even to sleep in."

He just sat there, staring at us like we were insane.

"Daddy?" Bra asked waving a hand in his face.

He snapped out of it and looked over to each of us, then he slowly stood up, walked over to the kitchen sink, put his dishes in and left the room.

Bra looked to me, I shrugged, and we continued eating.

Later that day, I saw Vegeta again and he was still wearing those gloves. "I've never seen your hands you know…" I told him in a possessive way.

He quivered slightly, but he did nothing else.

"Come on, take them off." I said and took hold of one of them.

"No!" he cried and backed away from me.

"What? Are you afraid or something?" I asked slightly angry.

He snorted. "I am the prince of all Saiyans, I am not afraid of something so idiotic. Now leave me alone. I have training to do."

I frowned and left the room. Only ten seconds later did I hear the GR blow up. I sighed and turned back around to fix it.

The next morning, I decided I was going to get those gloves off him. He was sitting at the breakfast table drinking coffee.

I strolled in and sat next to him. I took a drink of his coffee, but he didn't seem to mind. Either that or he didn't notice.

"Vegeta, I want you to tell me why you refuse to take off your gloves." I said in a demanded way. He just looked at me then turned back to watching his coffee. "Vegeta!"

He rolled his eyes and looked back up at me. "You want to know? You really want to know?" I nodded. "It's because of years of killing people, getting their blood smeared across my hands. From years of being afraid of all the diseases that could kill me from alien planets. My child hood was so screwed up; I became obsessed with keeping my hands clean. Now, I'm afraid to physically touch anything or anyone."  
I just stared at him stunned. He just told me something from his past, and it was very… interesting…

"Well, I'm going to help you." I said. He blinked.

"Who said I wanted help?"

"Oh, you don't want help, you _need _help. Now, if you can last one week without them, you'll be able to last the rest of your life." Then I skipped out of the room to get things.

He just sat there with is mouth agape for about ten minutes before he followed me.


	2. Off They Go: Day 1

BULMA:

I sat down in my lab and he sat next to me. "Vegeta, take off the gloves."

"Why?" he whined loudly.

"Because it's unhealthy." I answered.

"How? If anything, it's making me less likely to get sick." He answered.

"Not physically, mentally."

"Well, how cares about the mentally things?" he asked rolling his eyes.

"Take them off!" I yelled.

"What do I get out of this?" he whined.

"If you don't wear your gloves for one week, then I'll… Huh… I'll never make you eat my cooking again."

"Yes!" He cried standing up slightly and raising his fist in the air. "There is a God!"

"My cooking isn't _that _bad!" I cried.

"Remember last Sunday?"

Flashback

Bra: Dad, my waffle is eating my fork….

Trunks: That's nothing! My waffle's eating the table! Again!

Vegeta: No it's mine! Battling the waffle over a bagel Back I say! It's mine! You foul beast!

Waffle: Breaths fire

Vegeta: Lets go of bagel Fine, you can have it.

Waffle: sprays out stuff to liquefy it then sucks it up hisses

Trunks: That's not what normal waffles do…

Vegeta: No. No they don't.

Bra: You all will die! Stabbing at four of them with another fork

End of Flashback

"And then-"

"All right! Stop with remembering! There's only one flashback per chapter."

"Wha?" he asked. "What were we talking about again?"

"Uh, your gloves?"

"Oh yeah. They're very nice." Then he started to walk off.

"Vegeta get back here!" I followed him to the kitchen were he sat at the table and pouted.

"This is how I lost my bagel…" he muttered.

"What? Anyway, the gloves." I said.

"Yes, I know they are nice." He said rubbing them.

"Take them off."

"…No."

"Take them of!"  
"Noooo…..!"

"Remember, no cooking." I told him. He squirmed for a moment and whined.

"Oh fine! I'll do it. But not for you, woman. This is for the all bagels that dream! Dream of a world without rabid waffles out to take their lives and the lives of there loved ones…"

He said more, but then I noticed that he was half way out of the room as he continued babbling nonsense.

"Vegeta! Get back here!" I cried and pulled him back into the room. "Off!"

He sat down and whined as he slowly removed them. "Ew! Air! Germs! Ew! EW!!"

"Oh you whiner!" I cried and took the gloves out of his sight. "So that's what your hands look like." They were very pale and clammy looking.

His hand slowly ventured to the gloves in my hand. "Vegeta! Down!"

He pouted.

I took hold of his hand, and he squirmed again. "Ew…. Ew… Ew… Germs!" he pulled away and ran to the sink to wash his hands.

"Vegeta you can last for more then 2 minutes without your gloves."

"I guess so… But look!" He held up his perfectly still hand. "I'm getting the shakes!"  
I rolled my eyes and took the gloves to put them in another room.

I was in another room when I heard someone screaming at the top of their lungs.

I came back in the kitchen to find Vegeta with his arms crossed and screaming his brains out. "Vegeta!" I yelled at him, when he didn't stop, I slapped him.

He was suddenly silent. "Thanks, Bulma, I needed that. BUT NOW I'VE GOT YOUR GERMS!" he ran back over to he sink.

"Wait, did you just call me Bulma? And did you just say 'thanks'?"

He paused for a moment before he yelled, "It's the gloves! They're the source of my personality! I need them back or I'll be all different!"

"No, no gloves. Don't need them."

'Good grief. He is a wreck without them.' I thought with a roll of my eyes.

Vegeta furiously scrubbed his hands and muttered something about my germs and that the world should be cleaner.

"Okay, you call the kids and I'll make breakfast." I kissed him on the cheek, which caused him to run to the sink, again. But he did call them.

"TRUNKS! BRA!! BREAKFAST!!!" then he sat down and stared at his hands.

The kids walked in and stared at him with astonishment. "You called us by our actual names!" Trunks said with his mouth agape.

"It's the sign of the apocalypse! Everyone! Run!" Bra screamed and almost ran off, but Trunks stopped her.

"See Bulma! Source of personality!" he cried. "Oh! I did it again!" he pounded his fist on the table, but quickly pulled them off and ran to the sink.

Trunks and Bra sat down with confused looks. They stared at Vegeta as he came back to the table.

"I'm making him go a week without wearing his gloves and he isn't liking it." I told them and set down some waffles. I sat down next to Trunks.

They all back away suddenly.

"Relax! They're frozen waffles! I just toasted them." I said with a pout.

They scooted back in and began to eat. Well, the kids did. Vegeta just sat there, staring at them with disgust.

"Something wrong?" Trunks asked through a mouthful of waffle.

"Did you two even wash your hands before you started eating?" they both stared at him and shrugged. "Eww…" he shuttered.

I knew he was hungry, but I wasn't going to feed him. He'd have to touch the food sometime.

His hand ventured near the food, but then was quickly pulled back when I scooted the plate toured him. He idly placed one finger on a waffle to grab one, but then bolted to his feet and ran to the skin.

"What is that, the 9th time you washed your hands?" I asked.

"Actually, it's only the 5th." He shook off the excess water on his hands and took a fork. He washed it with antibacterial soap and then began to eat some of the waffles.

'Drat. My plan didn't work. For dinner, I'll make something he'll have to touch if he wants to eat it.' I thought and smiled menacingly.

For the whole morning, he didn't touch anything or anyone. When the kids left to go hang out with their friends, I went to my lab after making sure he had no gloves he was hiding somewhere.

VEGETA:

This was driving me crazy. I hadn't taken off my gloves since I was ten. And even then I didn't like it. I needed them back.

But, if I got them back, the woman would have won. No, I can make it for one week. It can't be that hard.

I didn't realize I was rocking slightly back and forth from the couch I was on. I set my hands down on my lap, but then quickly pulled them back and ran to the kitchen sink.

After about an hour of trying not to touch things, Bra and Pan came in from playing outside. In the mud. _With all the germs._

"Hello Mr. Vegeta. How's life been treating you?" Pan asked sitting in the armchair next to the couch. She took off her headband and shook her head to get some of the dried mud out. I shuttered as one piece almost hit me.

Bra did worst. She actually sat next to me and took hold of my hand. "1, 2, 3, 4! I declare a thumb war!" then she deiced to battle my still thumb.

I almost vomited. I pulled away and went once again, back to the sink to get all the germs off.

"What was that all about?" I heard Pan say.

"I don't know, he's weird." Bra answered. Then I heard them leave the room. I, of course, couldn't go back there where they had smeared they germs all over everything. So, I went to mine and Bulma's room.

It was nice and clean there. No dirty clothes, no muddy children. I relaxed and lay on the bed, careful to keep my hands off the fabric and where I could see them.

This had been very tiring, trying to keep my hands clean. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

I dreamed of a germ free world were children stayed out of the mud, women carried around antibacterial and baby's weren't one big germ.

Then, I suddenly woke up. I didn't figure out why, until I looked down at the cover that was on top of me. Then noticed Bulma walking out of the room.

I bolted up, "Ahhhhh!!!! Ah! Ah! Ahhhh!!!" I ran out of the room and into the bathroom, but to my horror, there was no antibacterial soap!!

I screamed again and ran to the other bathroom down the hall. Trunks' bathroom. I peeked inside, but I couldn't bring myself to venture in.

There were dirty clothes as far as the eye could. Shampoo caked the walls! I leaned in farther, and to my horror, the soap was in the toilet! And it wasn't even flushed!!!!!!

I screamed again and ran downstairs to Bra's bathroom. I knew she was cleaner then Trunks, well, a pig is cleaner then Trunks.

When I get there, every was perfectly in order. All the clothes were in the hamper, and the shampoo was actually in the bottle. But… the soap was no where to be found!!

There were a few more bathrooms in the house, but I figured if the soap was gone from the main bathrooms, then I'd most likely not find any in the others.

So, what I did, and I'm not proud of this, I sat in Bar's bath tube and rocked back and forth for about a half an hour, screaming every once in a while.

Eventually, Bulma came into the room, and said, "Good God, what are you doing now?"

"There-there's no more soap!!!" I cried loudly. "Nowhere!!!"

The kids walked in, all of them staring at me. Bulma turned to them and gave them each a few hundred dollars. "Go entertain yourselves." She told them as she pushed them out of the room.

"What's up with dad?" Bra asked.

"Your fathers' gone crazy. Again." She answered.

Trunks scoffed, "And on the first day too!"

"What do you mean?" Goten asked.

"Uh, mom took away dad's gloves. And this is the first time he took them off in 20 years." Bra said.

"29 years and three days!" I called from the bathroom.

"Here's a few more 20's now move, move, move!" Bulma cried and they all scattered in different directions. "Vegeta! Get out of Bra's bathroom!"

"Get me soap and I'll leave!"

"You can't live the rest of your life completely germ free!"

"Sure I can! Just let me live in a bubble!" I said.

"You'll never be able to train, or be with you family, or spar with Goku ever again!" she said with annoyance.

"Screw my family! And if you make it big enough, then I can train!"

"But Goku won't want to come into your bubble!" she argued.

"If I lour him with food he will!" I shot back.

"He's not stupid enough to do that!"

"You'd be surprised. One time I told him Saiyans could breath underwater. And he believed me."

"So that's why he was in the hospital all that time…" she mused.

"You're welcome." I said with a smirk and put my hands behind my head. "EW! Hair gel! I need soap! And that bubble your gonna make me!"

"I'm not going to make you bubble to live in!" she cried.

"Why not?" I whined and looked at her.

"Because… oh fine. I'll make your stupid plastic bubble."

"You will?" I said hopefully.

" Yes. Now all you have to do is one thing, for me tomorrow…" she sounded too evil just then. But sadly, at the time, I didn't notice.

Author's note- Turn in tomorrow, or whenever I post the next one, to find out what he has to do! Will Vegeta last the whole week? Probably not, but you know, he might. Will he been insane by the end? Most likely.

Review this chapter of Glovless! Dun, dun, dun!! I'll stop…

And a thanks to:

Sparks-1990

Kataan

WhiteEevee

LilAngelLady21

Thanks for Reviewing!

Goolebear123: (the dude who help me) And for all you who read and didn't review, you will all burn in…

Wuggles: PG! PG!

Goolebear123: H-E-C-K!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Wugles: You know they can spell, since they, you know, read this thing….

Goolebear123: Don't you have somewhere to be?


	3. Prince Wilston IV: Day 2

DAY 2

BULMA:

It was the next morning, everything was so peaceful.

"This was the first time I slept without my gloves in 29 years! I didn't like it…." Vegeta said to me as we still lay in bed.

I nodded. "Well, you know, today, you have to do something for me remember?" I asked leaning closer to him.

"Noooo!!!" Vegeta kept screaming over and over.

I had a chain around his hands that he could easily snap, but he didn't want to get his hands any dirtier then they were. "Get in the car, Vegeta!"

"No! The Germs!" he cried wildly.

"If you don't, I'll make you eat my cooking for the rest of your life, never give you gloves back, and I won't make you that stupid bubble!" I screamed.

He was screaming loudly, causing the neighbors to stare.

After I finally bribed him into getting in, I owed him a pool of jellybeans, Popsicle's, and pudding, (but not mixed together), a brand new GR, a pair of magnetic shoes, a 2x4, a Frisbee and a full sized statue of himself made of chocolate.

He was happy for the whole car ride until were pulled into the parking lot.

He frowned. "You told me we were going for ice cream." He muttered as I pulled him inside. He made a careful note not to touch anything while we where there.

"…And that's why I started being afraid of germs. You see were I'm coming from, Doc.?" Vegeta asked while he sat on the psychiatrics' couch. He put his hands behind his head, forgetting he had no gloves on. Then he yelled, "Contamination!" and ran over to the sink.

"It sounds to me like he has Haphephobia, or the fear of being touched, and Bacteriophobia, the fear of germs. Any physical contact will cause him to fear the germs." The doctor said as he scribbled down something on a sheet of paper. He tore it off and handed it to me. "I suggest he do the following on this list."

I looked it over and giggled at them. Then I came to the bill. "$4,000?!?!"

Vegeta looked over my shoulder at the list. He whistled. "Jeez… have fun paying that." Then he read a little more. "I'm _not _doing that."

"Oh yes you are!" I cried and pulled him out of the office to the car.

He whined about me touching his hand the entire time.

We arrived at home and I began on the list. "The first thing it says to do is set you in a calm area." I blindfolded him like the list said and set him on the couch. Then I played some music that sounded like rain.

"Is it working?" I asked after a while.

"No, it makes me want to go to the bathroom." He stated. "And it makes me thirsty." He licked his lips and took off the blind fold as I set off the music. Then he stared at his hand for a moment. He hissed and ran off to the kitchen.

I looked down the list and eliminated things that would make him uneasy or not work on him.

'Golfing, no. He hates golf. Swimming, no. He hates germy water. Vacation, oh God no. I don't need _another_ lawsuit. The beach, same as swimming.' Then I found the perfect one. 'Hmm… that might work… he won't have to touch anything…'

"Honey, I found something on the list you can actually do."

He poked his head out from behind the kitchen doorway. "Hn?"

I didn't tell him what it was. Instead, I just took the blindfold and set it back over his eyes. He was afraid to touch it, so I didn't have to worry about him taking it off.

"Were are you taking me?"

"Somewhere good." I answered with a smile.

"That's what you told me the last time…" he said and I could just imagine him rolling his eyes.

We pulled into the parking lot and he froze.

I took off the blind fold and he looked around. "I wanna go home." He said quickly, crossing his arms like a three year old.

"Oh come on you big baby." I unbuckled his seat belt and pulled him out of the car. He hissed at me touching his hand again, but I didn't care.

He followed me around the park.

"Isn't this great? The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, everything is so peaceful…" I said and closed my eyes to enjoy the sun.

Then I heard something and opened them again. Vegeta was no where in sight. I fumed. "VEGETA! Where are you?!"

I found him in the car using some baby wipes, which he undoubtedly stole, to clean his hands. "Not clean, not clean, not clean…" he kept muttering.

My shadow cast over him and he looked up. He quickly backed out of the front seat and into the back. I followed soon after.

We wrestled for about twenty minutes before a woman and he two kids walked by.

"Please! This is a safe, child friendly neighborhood! Go _have fun _at home!" she shouted and walked off swiftly, pulling her children with her.

We both paused from our fighting and realized the whole car was shaking like we had been … well, you get it.

I crawled out fist, but Vegeta stayed in the car. I sighed, "Do I have to get some mud and throw it on you?"

He whined and crawled out, taking the baby wipes with him. He clutched them to his chest defiantly and refused to let go of them no matter what I promised him.

I sat him over by the pond, while I fed the ducks. "Are you sure you don't what to feed them, Vegeta? It's a lot of fun!"

He shook his head again. "Ducks are filthy creatures that feed on the carcasses of decaying fish."

I just stared at him for a moment. "Riiigght…"

Suddenly, a baby duck walked up to Vegeta and peeped. He raised an eyebrow and scooted away from it.

"Awww… it looks like the little guy just hatched…. He probably thinks you're his mom." I cooed.

Vegeta's eyes widened. "What?! It can't think I'm its mother! I'm a man! I'm the _Prince _of all Saiyans! Prince kind of gives it away!"

The duckling peeped again and again as it tried to get up on the bench Vegeta was sitting on.

"Let's adopt it!" I cried and scooped it up.

"Huh?! That's a wild animal! You can't just take it into our home!" he cried in disbelief.

"I let _you _into the house, how it he any different?" I asked.

"But that things covered in germs! It's… it's…" he faded away as he watched me pet it.

"But, he's all alone. He has no one in the world! Let's keep it!" I said in a loving tone. He was about to object, when I said, "We're keeping it and that's final!" then I trotted off to the car. "Are you coming?"  
He sighed loudly and followed me to the car.

"Here, hold him." I said and plopped the duckling onto his lap.

He panicked and scarred the duck. I picked it back up and put it onto my lap. "Fine, you big baby."

Vegeta stared at the duckling the whole time like it was a giant evil monster that was going to bite his head off while he slept.

We pulled back into the house and I set the duckling on the kitchen table. "Just look how cute he is!"

"How do you know it's a he?" Vegeta asked cautiously looking over my shoulder.

"You really want me to show you?" I asked.

He shook his head quickly. "He needs a name." He said after a few minutes.

"You're the mom, you name him." I said. He snorted loudly.

"Well, he's a duck so he shall be called... Prince Wilston IV." He answered.

"….Are you serious?"

"Yes! He is the evil Prince Wilston IV!" then he laughed menacingly for about two minutes.

"You can stop at any time." I said.

"Okay. Never again?"

I shook my head. "Never again." His face fell.

"Everything's always the last time I do everything. Now what?" he asked me.

"Now what, what? Take care of your child!" I cried.

"Bulma, I don't even take care of my own children. Why would I take care of a duck?" he had a point. "I can't train it, so what else is there to do with it?"

I shrugged. "Not my problem."

"Okay, I got it!" He cautiously picked up Prince Wilston IV and headed off to the bathroom, all the while saying, "Ew… so germy… Ew, ew…."

I hadn't heard from Vegeta or Prince Wilston IV for awhile. I figured Vegeta just set him down somewhere and left him alone.

I snickered for the 100th time that day. 'Vegeta the Mommy'. Oh, that ducks gonna have problems…

Just then, something small and shinny walked into the room. Well, actually it waddled into the room.

Vegeta followed soon after.

I looked back at the shinny thing and then at Vegeta who had a very proud smile on his face.

I panicked. "Wilston!" the poor baby duck was wrapped in tinfoil and had on tiny goggles. "Where'd you get the goggles?"

"I took them from one of Bra's Barbie's." He answered with no shame.

"You stole my your own daughter?"

"I can't help it. Without my gloves on, I steal."

"You steal _with _your gloves on!"

"Eh." He then started to walk away. "Can you watch Prince Wilston IV for a while?"

"Where are you going?"

"Well, Prince Wilston IV is an outside animal and therefore is covered with GERMS!!!! Not so much any more, but he _was_ covered in germs." He said it all calmly except for when he screamed 'germs' at the top of his lungs.

The he ran down the hall toured the kitchen.

"Okay, Wilston… how's life been for you?" I asked.

He peeped about four times.

"Fascinating." 'Great, I finally lost it. I'm talking to a duck…' "And how's life been with Vegeta?"

Prince Wilston IV just looked at me.

"You know, 'Mommy'." I said with a roll of my eyes.

He began to peep again happily.

"I'm back." Vegeta announced as he came back into my lab.

"Here." I thrust Wilston into his hands. "He is no longer germ covered, and you are insane. I bid you good day." I said and turned back to my work.

I could practically hear him frowning. "Germs…" he said softly. "But what about…"

I cut him off, "I said good day!"

He snorted and walked out of the room slowly.

After about ten minutes, the fire alarms went off again. By this time in my life, I had grown so used to the sound of them that I didn't even hear them anymore. By the time I figured out the alarms were on, the fire was already put out.

I ran upstairs to see the damage because I already knew whom to blame.

"Ma'am, it seems to us that this man and his duck started the fire." A fireman said and pointed to Vegeta and Wilston.

"Wait! He's not my duck! And he's not to blame! And neither am I! We didn't start the fire!" the he spontaneously broke into song.

We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it…

"Are you finished?" I asked. He nodded. I turned back to the fireman. "What did he do?"

"Bulma! Didn't you hear the song?! We didn't start the fire! Do I have to have Wilston sing it?!"

I just looked at him. My poor husband. He's insane.

Wilston began to peep to the tune of whatever song Vegeta was singing, Vegeta nodding his head in a dancing fashion.

"What song is that anyway?" I asked after he was done.

"It's Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire'! 4 minutes and 50 seconds exactly!" He cried like I was the stupidest person on earth.

"….You have _way _to much time on your hands."

"Uh, ma'am, the fire?" the fireman asked.

"Oh yeah! Here's $1,000 go get your selves something nice." I began to push them out of the house.

"Uh, thank you, bye!" the man and his team said and raced off to the fire truck.

"You're getting in more trouble this way then you did with the gloves! Come on, I have one more idea." I pulled him into the kitchen.

"Germs!" he cried and scrabbled away.

"You'll touch the duck, but you won't touch me, you'll touch the duck, but you won't come into the kitchen! What's up with that?"

He poked his head back in. "What do I have to do?"

"We are going to bake something." I told him with a sweet smile.

He gagged. "Bake something?! Without gloves? I've never baked anything in my life! And without my gloves?! You're crazy."

"This is for your own good, Vegeta. If you don't get over this fear, you'll be a freak for the rest of you life."

He seemed to be debating it in his head. "I can live with that." He was about to walk away when I said:

"What about all that stuff you wanted? You'll never get it this way."

"Not even the statue of me made of chocolate?" he said with a pout.

"Not even the statue of you made of chocolate." I answered while shaking my head.

He sighed, "Can Wilston help?"

"Yes, Wilston can help." I answered with a roll of my eyes.

He perked up and sat at the table.

"Okay. First we need…." And we began.

After about an hour, we had finished.

"Wilston! You messed it up!" Vegeta cried and moved the tinfoiled duck away from his pie.

He'd only washed his hands 13 times since we started baking. That's a start.

Just then, the front door opened. Goten, Pan, Trunks, Marron and Bra all walked into the room.

"Hello, Bulma. Hello, Vegeta." Goten, Pan and Marron all said politely.

Then they noticed the duck that insisted on sitting on Vegeta's head.

"Where'd you get the chicken?" Goten asked.

"He's not a chicken! Prince Wilston VI's a duck!" Vegeta growled at them.

"Oookaaayyy…. Where'd you get him?" Bra asked.

"From the park. He followed me home."

"And you let him keep it? Every time I brought home an animal, you always said to put it back." Trunks said with a pout.

"That's because the animal you brought home you wanted to torture, maim and/or eat." I answered.

Trunks' frown deepened.

"And you want to keep it?" Bra asked picking up Prince Wilston VI. "I thought you were afraid of germs."

"Because, he thinks I'm his parent. And I wrapped him in tin foil to keep him germ free."

Bra looked at him for a long time as if to say 'And you think that's going to work because…?'

I waved for her not to bother so she set him back down and he instantly waddled over to Vegeta.

He sighed and plopped his head on the table.

I was wondering why he didn't scream, 'germs!' and run to the sink. I was about to ask when he cried:

"Contamination!" and ran to the sink.

Prince Wilston IV peeped like that was the funniest thing he'd seen in his life.

I rolled my eyes. This was a very tiring week, even though it was only the second day. Live just keeps getting better and better.

Thanks to the following:

dbzlover123

Ollee

VeryShortMidget

Clarobell

Kataan

Chibi Mirai Gogeta

dark ki too lazy to login in

leelo

gippal-ec-rud

Candy the Duck

Awful

LilAngelLady21

Sparks-1990

WhiteEevee

PS Candy the Duck, I stole the duck idea from your name. Thanks! (I own nothing!)


	4. Party Time!: Day 3

BULMA:

It was morning, the sun was shining into my bedroom and washing over my face. I snuggled in closer to Vegeta, who almost never moved while he slept. He would lay down, and then not move all night.

Then I had a brilliant beyond brilliant idea. A Party. We could have a party. That would test how much Vegeta actually had gotten over his little, problem.

I sat up slowly, knowing that he was already awake and pretending to be asleep. Prince Wilston IV was sitting on his chest still sleeping.

I was halfway out of the room when Vegeta's voice rang out. "Bulma, where are you going?"

He sat up, knocking Wilston onto the floor. He peeped and stood up, waddling back over to the bed were Vegeta stepped out of.

I laughed nervously, "No where. I'm just going to…. Water the… cat!" I cried quickly.

"Oh, okay." He stated and flopped back onto the bed.

Wilston continued to peep until Vegeta saw back up, pulled him back onto the bed with the blanket and set him on his chest.

I shook my head and began to plan the party.

About five hours later, it was all ready. All the decorations were up, Trunks and Bra were dressed and ready to go, and Wilston had just had a bath.

Vegeta, on the other hand, refused to come out of our room. He said that he refused to until I hooked up a decontamination chamber for everyone in the world to stay in.

I had to threaten him with the statue again. You know, the one made of chocolate.

But he still didn't come out until I told him Wilston had to go back to the park were he belonged.

So, he sat, pouting on the couch with a frown on his face. Wilston sat on his head to keep him company. It seemed to me, that as long as nothing touched his hands, he was fine. Well, aside from something so horribly germy touching him he was fine.

Soon, people started to show up. First, it was Goku, Chichi and Goten.

Goten and Trunks ran off to do whatever they wanted, as Bra stayed in the living room to wait for Pan.

Goku sat on the couch next to Vegeta. Then he blinked innocently. "Why's there a chicken on your head?"

Vegeta sighed, "He's not a chicken! He's a duck, and his name is Prince Wilston IV." Then he crossed his arms.

Soon after he said that, Goku began to pet the baby duck. "Aww… he's cute…. Hey, do you wanna spar?"

Vegeta shook his head. "No, there are to many germs outside."

Goku instantly grabbed his chest and flopped to the floor.

"He's going into cardiac arrest! Quick Dad, give him mouth to mouth!" Bra cried in panic.

Vegeta made a face that said, 'You have got to be kidding.' And Wilston peeped like it was the funniest thing he'd seen all day. And it probably was.

Goku slowly sat back onto the couch. "You-you _don't _want to s-spar?" he stuttered. "Are you Vegeta? Or are you another clone like last time?" he asked suspiciously.

Vegeta blinked, "No. I'm not a clone, but I still don't want to spar. Not until I get my gloves back."

Goku would have said more, but the doorbell rang again.

"I got it! I got it! I got it!" Bra cried, running to the door. But I was already there. I opened it right before she got there.

"Hi Gohan, hey Videl, hi Pan!" I greeted.

Bra pouted for about ten seconds, then forgot and ran off with Pan.

Gohan laughed as he followed me inside. Videl right behind him.

They both took a seat around the living room and began to chat with Vegeta and Goku.

Soon, more people began to show up. I broke my conversation with Chichi to see to the door. And to my surprise, it was Piccolo and Dende.

"Wow, I didn't think you guys would show up." I said cheerfully.

Piccolo grunted and walked inside. Dende stayed to chat with me more.

VEGETA:

Germs! There were so many people here, and they were all covered in GERMS!!

Piccolo stood by the wall and closed his eyes.

"Piccolo! You made it!" Gohan cried. "So, what made you come?"

He cleared his throat. "My cable went out." He said in a dark threatening voice. We all stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. He didn't say anything, just watched us laugh.

"Are you done?" he asked after a moment.

The party went on, more people showing up by the minute. Just when I thought there was no one else that could come, more popped up.

"Okay everyone, go ahead and mingle." Bulma stated and everyone stopped talking for a moment, then started again.

"Mingle, mingle, mingle." Goku said over and over again. "Mingle, mingle, mingle, mingle…"

"You don't know what mingle means, do you?" I asked after he'd said it for the tenth time.

He shook his head sheepishly.

"I figured."

Tien walked in and looked right at me. I guess having three eyes would make you kind of good at seeing. "Why is there a chicken on your head?" he asked pointing to Wilston.

"Yeah, I wondered that too." Piccolo said, and Gohan nodded.

I fumed. "Not a chicken! Duck!" I know I sounded like a mad man, but I didn't care. I was protecting the prince's honor.

"That's Prince Wilston IV." Goku explained.

"Wilston?" Gohan asked.

I nodded stiffly and sat back onto the couch. Wilston jumped off my head and landed on the back of the couch. He swayed back and for a moment, before he fell of behind it.

"Wilston!" I yelled at him. "Get back up here, right now!"

He peeped happily and waddled under the sofa.

I tore the couch back, and tried to grab him, but the dust bunnies! Oh, the dust bunnies!! They were everywhere! I couldn't just reach back there and grab him!

I needed something to protect me.

I needed my gloves! I looked over at Bulma, silently pleading for my gloves, but she shook her head in protest.

I groaned and reached back behind the couch. It was so germy and… Eww!!!

I finally was able to pull him out, and he sneezed.

"What was that about?" Tien asked cocking is head.

"He ran under the couch, so I had to get him. And, now after I have been through so much to keep clean, I am covered in GERMS!!!!"

Then I ran off to the sink in the other room.

GOKU:

I would have never thought Vegeta would be afraid of germs. I would have thought it'd be something like giant 50-foot spiders or something like that! But germs?

Even OOLONG isn't afraid of germs. Or is he?

Anyway, I didn't think anything about his gloves before, just that he thought they were cool. Or 'wicked awesome' as Goten put it.

I saw Vegeta from a different angle, now. He was a very complex person.

"Why are you staring at me?" Vegeta asked not even looking at me.

He was staring blankly ahead, with Wilston tucked under his arm.

"Uh, nothing! Sorry!" I cried and turned back to my plate of food, then I remembered I already ate it all.

Wilston kept trying to peck things off Vegeta's plate, but he'd always stop him. "Here's a noodle. Be happy." He said handing it to the duckling with ate it rather quickly.

After dinner, everyone sat in the living room in an uncomfortable silence.

Well, Wilston kept peeping. But everyone else was silent.

Vegeta was a good distance from everyone, trying his best not to have any physical contact.

He set Wilston on the floor, and he quickly waddled over to the first person he saw. Which happened to be Piccolo.

Piccolo cocked his head, and the duck copied. He shorted, and the duck imitated him. He began to walk away, and Wilston followed.

"Vegeta! Make it go away!" he cried as he walked around the couch.

Wilston thought it was funny, and chased after him. After he was done with Piccolo, he moved on to 18. He seemed to have a knack for bothering people that need not be messed with.

"Get away from em, duck." She spat and crossed her arms.

He peeped and ran into her leg.

Vegeta sighed. "Wilston! Now you're contaminated, again! Go take a bath!" he said pointing down the hall.

Wilston looked down the hall, then took off running in the opposite direction.

Vegeta growled and chased after him.

Bulma glanced after him and the turned back to the people ahead of her. "Now that the crazy one is gone, who wants to play a game?"

We were about halfway through Scabble, when a deftly roar was heard though the house.

"What was that?" Piccolo asked letting go of his ears.

Bulma thought for a moment. Then yelled, "Trunks!!"

There was another roar, "What's going on?" Trunks called.

Bulma turned to him, looking at his head that was poking out from the door. "What? Something has happened and it isn't your fault?"

Trunks shrugged. "I know, I'm scared too."

Bulma turned and began to count us. "All of us are here, except…."

Vegeta and Wilston were right in the heart of the whole operation. They had deiced to release the dinosaurs that Dr. Brief kept as pets.

Bulma dragged Vegeta out of the room by his hands, him whining about contamination the whole time.

"Why is it that when you don't get your way, you have to break/maim/ and/or destroy something?" she growled.

"But, I didn't do it!" he protested. "Wilston will tell you what he saw! Him, and this chipmunk named Simon!" he said and held up a stuffed chipmunk.

Wilston began to squeak, and Simon just sat there.

"See? That's what happened! I told you I didn't do it!" Vegeta cried crossing his arms and almost crushing Wilston in the process.

Bulma turned to us, made the crazy sign with is her index finger and the rim of her ear, and then turned back to Vegeta as we all snickered.

She let u s through the garden, as she pulled Vegeta with.

He was babbling about something or other, when he suddenly yelled, "Pansy!" really loud.

Bulma turned to him, about to yell, when she saw he was pointing to a flower on the ground. "See? Pansy!" he thought this was hilarious, and in a way it was.

When Bulma finally sent us all home, I was sure Vegeta got the yelling of his life.

As we flew away, I heard her say, "Tomorrow, your not staying at this house! Your going to go wonder the Earth for a while!"

Then I heard nothing at all.

Author:

I don't know about you, but I didn't like it like the last ones. Oh well. Anyway review please, and sorry this took so long to post. I was abducted by aliens and sent into outer space in a miniskirt. AGAIN!

Thanks to the following:

SKC-ANIME-LOVER

VegetasLoverBulmaBriefs

SonBriefsgirl12

Corri18

WhiteEevee ROUGEFURY

VeryShortMidget

Leelo77

Vegeta's little shadow

PanPan

Kataan

dbzlover123

imelie

Heather Clarobell

Candy the Duck

Brandon B

Dark ki a.k.a. Lee

Chibi Mirai Gogeta

LilAngelLady21

Ollee

gippal-ec-rud

Awful

LilAngelLady21

S.P.12

My… hold on… 1…3…6 fans! Wait, maybe I'm a bit off…

Googlebear(the dude how helped me with this)- It's 26, you idiot.

I luvs you too! Thank you everybody!

I would like to thank all my fans, my family, Googlebear(not a ff writer) my psychiatrics, my doctors, and all the people ah live in my head. Thank you.


	5. Mission ROG: Day 4

DAY 4

VEGETA:

My mission, retrieval of gloves. I have code named it, 'ROG' for short. Wilston is my accomplice because he is the only one that will keep a secret.

Anyway, I tapped his mouth shut for a moment, so he won't make any noise.

"Dun, dun, dun dun! Dun dun dun!! Doo do do! Dun dun dun dun dunn!! Wooaaaahhh!"

So far, I have come up with the theme song.

We are currently wearing bright purple, because I couldn't find any black that would fit. (I stole it from Trunks.)

Anyway, Wilston was unhappy at the moment because I refused to untie him.

"We must slip into the halls, unnoticed, as begin our mission, ROG."

We slowly walked out of the room as not to wake Bulma. I silently slipped past Bra's room, then Trunk's.

We finally made it to the stairs, and I slid down the rail. 'Sliding down the rail, Dun dun dun!!' I thought before I reached the bottom.

I landed on my feet, and right in front of Bulma's mother. In my purple outfit.

She looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh, Vegeta, I love that outfit! Trunks has one just like it!"

"Really? Fascinating." I said and blushed.

"So were are you going this early in the morning?"

"If you must, I'm going to complete a mission." I said striking a dramatic pose.

"Really? And what mission is that?" she asked cocking her head.

"Mission ROG." I answered.

"Oh, well have fun!" she cried cheerfully and turned back to watering her plants.

I shrugged and ran out of the house and on to the lawn. Then I realized, it was brood day light. And there were people. _Ev_e_rywhere._

The neighbors began to stare as I walked down the street. "What? Haven't you every seen a duck before?"

They didn't answer, so I just went on. I was about half way there, when I remembered I could fly.

I blinked, and smacked myself in the head. I took off, and Wilston began to shake his head quickly. Then I realized I forgot about the tape.

"Oops… Oh yeah, the tape." I pulled it off and he cried. "Sorry…"

We landed on the look out, and looked around. I supposed everyone was gone, so I just walked right into the building.

"Wilston, you keep watch, I'll find the gloves."

I began to look in the kitchen.

PICCOLO:

It was about 3:00, when I got thirsty, so I headed to the kitchen. Then I heard something. I turned to the hallway, to see Vegeta's chicken sitting in the living room, with the remote under it's foot and changing the channel.

I cocked an eyebrow, but decided not to ask as I went on the kitchen.

Then I saw something there, under the sink with their rear facing me.

I blinked. "Vegeta, what are you doing in my house?"

Vegeta hit his head on the way out as he backed out of the cabinet. He turned to me, the look of a dog caught eating the turkey on is face. "Uh… shaving?"

"Under the sink? At _my _house?" I asked.

"Oh! So that's what that was!" He cried putting his hands up. "I'll be leaving now." Then he walked out of the kitchen and down the hall.

"Vegeta, the exit is that way." I said pointing down the hall in the opposite direction.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's this way." He said and continued on in his direction.

"Vegeta, get out of here!" I cried and grabbed his shoulder.

After he'd washed his hands, because he said I have contaminated him, he walked out and took to the air.

"Vegeta! You forgot your chicken!" I yelled to him after he was a ways away.

"For the last time! Duck!" he yelled from about 6 miles away.

He came back, grabbed the chicken and disappeared.

TIEN:

Choiazu and I were sparing about 50 feet around the capsule house Bulma gave me once.

Then we heard something and turned to the left. There was something in the sky and we could sense it was Vegeta.

I think he thought we didn't know he was there. But, little did he know, we knew he was there, he just didn't know we knew he was there. Or maybe, he did. Then he would have known we where there, and that means he knows we knew that he knows that we were there. And if that was true…

Okay, I'll stop.

Choiazu gave me a look and waved his hand in front of my face.

"Thinking about something real hard?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Look." I said pointing to the house.

He frowned, "What's Vegeta doing inside?"

Again, I shrugged. "Let's go see."

We silently crept up to the house, and peeked in side from the doorway.

He was pulling random things from the closet in the hallway. He seemed rushed as he pulled out another towel.

Choiazu looked off in another direction. "Look, Tien, he even brought his chicken." He said quietly as he pointed to the thing that was looking out the window.

Obviously, Vegeta heard him because he jumped and spun around and screamed, "DUCK!"

We instantly ducked to the floor like he said.

He rolled his eyes, "Not that way!"

We stood up. "What are you doing in the closet?"

"Closet? I thought this was a boiler room!" he shouted. "Oh well, no matter. Come along Wilston must continued with operation ROG."

"Operation ROG?" I asked blinking

Vegeta leaned over his 'duck', "I think he's on to us." He whispered.

"I can hear you." I stated.

He shrugged and ran out of the house screaming at the lop of his lungs, "Dun, dun, dun, dun! Dun dun, dun!! Doo, do, do! Dun, dun, dun, dun, dunn!! Wooaaaahhh!"

Then he came back, "Contamination." He said like that explained everything. He washed his hands and then left again.

Choiazu and I watched with confused faces.

"What was with the purple suit? He looked like a wad of purple taffy."

I scooted away from him. Insanity must be contagious.

KRILLIN:

I was just sitting on the sand, minding my own business. When I heard something outside. I turned to the palm tree that sat at the other side of the island.

There was a mop dark brown hair that stuck out from the sides. I cocked an eyebrow and walked over to it.

Then I heard a peep and knew instantly it was Vegeta and his chicken.

"Duck!" he shouted and the 'duck' peeped.

"How did you hear me?" I asked while blinking.

"You were practically screaming."

"But, your not supposed to hear me! That's a soliloquy!" I shouted.

"Eh? What you gonna do?" he asked and walked past me.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I am here to complete mission ROG." He said and saluted. "That, reminds me, GERMS!!" then he walked his hands in the ocean water.

"Uh… okay, good luck?"

He nodded and walked into the house. He came back out after about 20 minutes and screamed, "What's wrong with you people?! Don't any of you own a pair of gloves?!"

I blinked. "Uh, I guess not. Dose Bulma know you're here?"

"Um… I was never here." He stated and began to walk off.

18 walked over from her lounging chair, after having watched the whole situation. "Are you as confused as I am?" I asked.

She nodded, "Oh yes."

VEGETA:

I was at the look out, and in all my frustration didn't realize I'd been there already. There was a note on the door.

"What do these strange makings mean?" I asked examining them. "Oh wait, it's in English."

It read, 'Vegeta, you have already been here.'

"Are you sure?" I asked out loud to myself. I pulled it off, and there was another one underneath.

This one said, 'Yes.'

"How do you know?" I asked the inanimate object.

The third one said, 'Because, you're an idiot.'

I frowned and pulled it off.

The very last one said, 'You can not deny the truth. Leave.'

I stoked off, my last words before I left, "I shall return!" then I took the air dramatically.

CHICHI:

I was washing the dishes, when all of a sudden something heavy fell to the floor. "What the…?" I asked and shook my hands. "Goten, are you running in the house again?!"

But, this time it wasn't Goten. It was the midget. I hate him. He's no arrogant.

Right now, he was tangled in the phone line. It was coiled around his neck and pinning his arms to his sides.

"What are you doing?" I asked while standing over him.

"I _was _trying to carry out mission ROG, but I tripped and the phone fell on my head, and then… so yeah. You can guess the rest."

He stood up, the phone getting pulled off the floor and hanging from his arm.

"ROG huh? Could that stand for something about your gloves?" I mused ask he fought to pull the phone off from around his neck.

He froze, "So, you'll help me?"

"I didn't say that." His face fell, and then he began to look around.

"Wilston?"

"You brought that thing in here with you?!" I cried with agitation.

He looked under the couch, then out in the hallway and various other places. He finally found him in the kitchen, chewing on my yellow washing gloves.

"Gloves! Salvation!" he cried and ran out to scoop the chicken into his arms.

"Wait. What makes you think I'm going to give you those anyway?"

He paused. "Giving? Who said anything about giving?" I asked. Before I could protest, he grabbed the gloves and his chicken and ran outside screaming, "Victory! I am the world's greatest! Whoooo!"

I could hear his chicken peeping in the background.

"Bulma's going to be mad…" I said aloud. "Oh well!" Then I went back to cleaning.

VEGETA:

I finally did it! After hours of running around from house to house, I finally found some! They're yellow, but I don't care!

I reached capsule corp., and just walked right in.

Big mistake. Bulma was there, wait for me. Always waiting.

She took the gloves I just found and put them where even my other gloves are. I sulked for a good ten minutes fore something caught my eye.

There was mud. On my left hand. Dirty, germ filled mud.

I ran to the sink, and that's when I realized my skin was starting peel. Oh well, another day, another attempted at staying germ free failed. At leased I still have Wilston. Wait where is he anyway?

Thanks to the following:

SKC-ANIME-LOVER

VegetasLoverBulmaBriefs

SonBriefsgirl12

Corri18

WhiteEevee ROUGEFURY

VeryShortMidget

Leelo77

Vegeta's little shadow

PanPan

Kataan

dbzlover123

imelie

Heather Clarobell

Candy the Duck

Brandon B

Dark ki a.k.a. Lee

Chibi Mirai Gogeta

LilAngelLady21

Ollee

gippal-ec-rud

Awful

LilAngelLady21

S.P.12

Phenomenon

Veggie's Badbabe

This one is to make up for the last one that really sucked. I KNOW I can't spell. Just, bare with me or I will sick some leprecons on ya!


	6. Insanity At Its Best!: Day 5

DAY 5

VEGETA:

Morning. Nothing to do but lay in bed and wonder when this nightmare would end. Bulma was hurting me, my lifestyle destroyed.

I can barely think, my head is buzzing from the constant reminder my gloves were gone.

Bulma walked into the room. "Are you ever going to get up?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

I looked at her, then slowly got up.

Wilston ran out from under the bed, coming to my aid. "There you are!" I cried and picked him up.

I had somehow lost him yesterday and spend almost all night looking for him. Then I just gave up and went to bed.

But now, he needed a bath because he was covered in dust from head to toe, which meant he was covered in GERMS!

I dropped him on the bed, wiping the dust on my shirt that came off on my hands.

I grabbed a towel from the hamper, and carried him to the bathroom.

Then I realized that was the towel I had used to dry off with after a shower two days ago. After I put Wilston in the tube, I went to wash my hands.

"Filthy…" I muttered as I got my hands wet. Then I saw there was no soap, again! So now, I had dirty hands, and a dirty duck and no way to clean either one.

I looked around for any substitute. There were none.

So, I just rinsed Wilston off with water, and my hands stayed dirty.

And I was okay with that.

…Who am I kidding? I went berserk. Screaming and yelling my lungs out, until my throat was raw. This was just not my day.

I went to get some breakfast, but we were having finger food.

Lots of toast with egg on top, and apples.

'She doing it on purpose…' I thought in horror as I saw the smirk on my wife's face. She was aware of everything so far she's put me through, and she was _happy _about it! I felt so betrayed just then.

Wilston seemed oblivious to my pain as he scared down some more of his egg. For a little think, he sure did eat.

Then, I went outside to just watch the clouds go by and wonder if I was ever going to get my gloves back.

I sighed in defeat. Life was so cruel.

Just then, I tripped on one of he kids' skates, and crashed to the ground.

'That was painful…' I thought and stood back up. There was blood all over my knee, and smeared over my hand.

Normally, I would have sneered and ignored it.

But now, without my gloves, it made me more consciences of the germs all around me. So, I ran to the house, intending to go to the bathroom, but stopped.

"I don't need soap! I can live with the germs!" I had only said that because I already knew there was no soap in that bathroom, and just to make me seem braver.

Bulma happened to be standing in the doorway, her mouth open in shock. She ran over to me, and hugged me. "I'm so proud of you! I can't believe you actually got over your obsession!"

I nodded stiffly then walked out of the house.

I walked past the gate, trying to stay as calm as I could. But, the minute I took to the air, I hissed in agitation.

"I'm all covered in germs now…" I continued to fly, until I saw a sign that said:

'Did you know that there is more pollution and germs in the air alone then anywhere on the Earth?'

I screamed shrilly and plowed tours the ground. I hit hard, not intending it to be that forceful.

I groaned, and stood back up. I was in the city still; the noisy, grubby DIRTY city.

I yelled as a piece of paper almost touched me. I had to get out of here. But where could I get that would be less germ-filled than here?

Then, a gleam came to my eyes. "Kakorot's house." Then I took off to the air again, not caring how germy it was.

GOKU:

I was fishing with Goten, when suddenly Vegeta dropped by.

"Hey, do you wanna go swimming?" I asked standing up in the freezing water.

He eyed me like I was going to bite him. "No." then he began to walk off, but I said,

"Please? It's a lot of fun!" He said nothing and continued on his way.

"What's the matter? Afraid of the germy water?" Goten teased from beside me. Vegeta stopped for only a moment and turned back around.

He glared at him and then started rambling on about something.

He was stalling, I knew it and Goten knew it.

I saw him glance to the side, and knew he was looking for something, anything, to interrupt him.

So instead, I reached forward and pulled him into the water.

He coughed from the sudden switch from breathing air, to breathing water. He wasn't too happy about that. He seemed to forget about his germaphobia for a moment, because all he could think of was revenge.

So, we had a water fight for about ten minutes, before Chi-chi came out and told us that Bulma had called.

This caused Vegeta to remember he was deathly afraid of germs and quickly bolted out of the water.

He ran inside, and answered the phone, still dripping wet, much to Chi-chi's dislike.

"Hello?" he asked while he wiped the water off his face.

"You forgot your duck. He keeps quaking and whining. He won't leave me alone! Get back here quick so he'll stop his jabbering!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. He was just getting used to living with germs, and then she had to ruin it.

I figured he wasn't going home, because he came back outside with us.

"Kakorot, I need your…" he paused for a moment. "_Help_." The word was forced out of his mouth like he hadn't said it in a while.

I swear, a ray of heavenly light shone down from the sky as a choir began to sing 'Haliliula'.

"Sure Vegeta, what is it?"

"I need you to _help _me get rid of my germaphbia…"

Goten figured this was his time to leave, so he went into the house.

"Well, first thinks first. You have to get used to having germs on your hands. And the only way to get that done is to have, a mud fight!"

I took a handful and mud off the bank and threw it at him.

He tensed, "Not that way! Now I'm covered in germs!"

"That was the point!" I cried. "This is getting nowhere. Let's see… we could ask someone to help us. Hey! What about your physiatrist? He could help!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him off to the house to get changed.

."I'm not going back to that quack! I'm _not _crazy! I'm _not_!!" he kept screaming all the way there.

"Of course your not." I replied. We reached the physiatrist lobby and waited for him to be un-busy.

There was a little kid there who was jumping up and down uncontrollably. The Mother seemed to be more interested in her magazine then her kid jumping up and down until he puked.

"Uh, hi." I said in a cheerful tone.

The kid just nodded and hopped in front of us.

"Why do you keep jumping?" Vegeta asked with an annoyed glance.

The kid slowed for a moment. "Because, if I stop jumping, I think I'll die!" then he started again.

We looked to the mother. "He's been doing that for three days. Even in his sleep!"

Vegeta turned back to the boy. "What are you on?!" The kid was starting to bug him, and I knew it. Soon he'd want to start blowing things up.

"Rydiln! (or however it's spelled) But we haven't figured out the dosage yet!" then he hopped off.

Vegeta gave me a look, and stood to leave. "Oh, no you don't!" I cried pulling him back down to his seat. "You're staying here, crazy!"

He frowned. "Not crazy!"

"Not crazy people speak in complete sentences." I answered. "Now sit still and down go any where."

"Mr. Brief, the doctor will see you now."

Vegeta sighed and started heading to the door. But at the last minute, he bolted to the exit. He would have made it too, had he not slipped on the freshly waxed floor and crashed into a support beam.

He groaned as I dragged him back into the doctor's office.

"Well, I see we meet again. How are you today?" the doctor asked.

Vegeta said nothing. He didn't move, he didn't speak. I don't even think he was breathing!

"Well, let's get started. How long have you been afraid of germs?"

And that's how it went. Vegeta did answer a few questions, and he was rather cooperative. But after the doctor asked one simple question, he went berserk.

"What caused you to fear germs so much?"

Vegeta paused for a moment. Then his jaw went slack.

"Vegeta?" I asked waving a hand in front of his face.

I could hear him growling lightly, it slowly getting louder. Then finally, it broke out into an ear-splitting scream, that echoed in his chest and was made louder in his throat. It sounded like the cried from when 18 broke his arm, or when the ice cream man cheated him out of his change.

Then he suddenly stopped, took a deep breath, and resumed his yelling.

"What's going on?!" I asked the doctor, both of us coving our ears.

"This usually doesn't happen to a patient at stable as Vegeta, but sometimes a suppressed memory or a traumatic moment in someone's life will cause them to suddenly start screaming. This may go on for only a few minutes, or he may keep it up until he feels he's finished!" the doctor had to yell now because the screaming was getting louder by the minute.

"How long do think that will be?!" I asked coving my ears more.

"The longest it lasted in one woman was seven years!"

"Seven years?! He can't possibly keep this up for seven years!" I cried in horror.

"Judging by the way he keeps getting louder, I would say he could do this for a _long _time." then the doctor started to write something down. "My bill!" he handed it to me.

"$5,500?! That's outrageous!" I grabbed Vegeta and pulled him outside tours Capsule Corp.

On the way out, I heard that jumping kid say, "And he thought _I _was crazy!"

At Capsule Corp, I had to explain to Bulma why her husband was screaming, and where he had been all morning.

His chicken ran into the room. Bulma picked him up and held him in front of Vegeta. "Look, Vegeta! It's Prince Wilston IV! See? You can stop screaming now!"

He paused for a moment, distracted by Wilston. Bulma set the duck on his chest, and waited to see what happened.

"What was that about?" I asked him.

Then he seemed to remember what he was yelling about, and resumed. The screams racked him from the inside out. His voice hoarse, he kept at it until about dinnertime.

Bra walked in from upstairs. "Dad! You have to stop screaming! You've been doing this for six hours!"

Then, about ten minutes later, the screaming just stopped.

I ran into the room where they both where, to find that Bra had drugged him with Nyquil.

I looked at Bra wide-eyed. "I had to stop him somehow," she stated then walked out of the room.

I smacked myself in the head. "Great. When he wakes us, not only will he be mad, but he'll also be tired."

I looked over to where he _supposed _to be sleeping, to find the couch empty. Only Wilston was there cuddled up between the seat cushions.

I yelped as something ran past the hallway in the darkness.

"Vegeta?" I asked and found him in the kitchen. "I though you were asleep."

He was facing the fridge when he began saying nonsense. Stuff like, "The only way to kill a man, is to steal his fish. If that's true then when do fish live in the air? I don't know, but I do know that if you take off your sock and put pizza on it, it turns into coleslaw."

"What are you talking about?" I asked spinning him around to face me.

His eyes were closed, and he had a bit of peanut butter on the end of his nose. "You _are _still sleeping!"

Then he started talking nonsense again. "If 2 plus 2 is 22, then 6 times 6 is 100! And if that's true then 7time a bugilion, must equal toasty marshmallows!" he said marshmallows kind of funny, putting emphases on the 'ows' and flipping the 'L's.

"You stay here, and don't touch anything! I'm going to find Bulma to see if she can fix this mess!"

I ran out of the room to find her.

After about two minutes of looking, I slowed to a calmer walk then a frantic run. I pasted the kitchen again, and heard Vegeta say, "Ooh… cheesy wood… just how I like it, plain." Then he started gnawing on the back of the chair.

I sped up my pace again, util I came to the lab.

"Bulma! Vegeta's lost it!"

She opened the lab door and looked at me. "I already knew that. The screaming this kind of gave it away."

I shook my head, "No! He's shouting crazy things that don't make any senesce! He's eating your kitchen chair as we speak!"

Bulma cocked and eyebrow but followed me to kitchen. There was Vegeta, sitting there calmly like nothing was going on.

I could see the bite marks on the chair, so I knew he had indeed tried to eat it.

"I don't see anything wrong with him." Bulma waved a hand in front of him. "Other then the fact that he's still sleeping…"

"But! He was just chewing on the chair! He was talking about numbers times other numbers equals marshmallows! He… he…." I sighed in defeat.

Bulma smiled lightly in amusement then left the room.

The minute she did, Vegeta started to mutter incoherent things. I got out the words 'Master of Cards' and 'Apple juice with soy sauce'.

"Snap out of it!" I cried, snapping in front of his face.

He ignored it, and instead headed to the other room.

I followed him into the garden then out into the yard. There, he began some kind of strip routine, singing: 'I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy that it hurts...'

"Vegeta! Keep your clothes on!" I hissed in horror and forced him to put his shirt back on.

I pulled him back into the house, him stumbling all the way of his own feet.

By the end of the night, he had tried to take out all the pot and pans, fill them with glue and then put them back. He also got pretty far in coloring the TV screen all black to you couldn't see anything. Oh yeah, and when he flushed all the cooking oil down the toilet. When he turned all of his clothes around so they were facing backwards and inside out. And when I found him playing in the cinders from the fireplace. Also when he maple-syruped his hand to the doorknob, the blender, and the ceiling fan. Don't ask me how he managed _that_. But the weirdest of them all is when he was eating the onions like apples, while he drew faces on them.

Long story short, it was a very…_interesting_ day. Well, he only has two more to go. I hope he can make it.

Author:

Thanks for waiting, sorry this took so long. I was on vacation for a while. I'll update soon, I promise!

Thanks to:

SKC-ANIME-LOVER

VegetasLoverBulmaBriefs

SonBriefsgirl12

Corri18

WhiteEevee

ROUGEFURY

VeryShortMidget

Leelo77

Vegeta's little shadow

PanPan

Kataan

dbzlover123

limelie

Heather

Clarobell

Candy the Duck

Brandon B

Dark ki a.k.a. Lee

Chibi Mirai Gogeta

LilAngelLady21

Ollee

gippal-ec-rud

Awful

LilAngelLady21

S.P.12

Phenomenon

Veggie's Badbabe

Phenomenon

Lady Tauntaun

Chuquita

Laevus

Yasai45

Clarobell

Val-Helsing

I'm pretty sure I got everyone. If I didn't, sorry! E-mail me, and tell me so you can be in the next chapter. Sorry again for taking so long! Thank you!


	7. Will You Marry Him?: Day 6

DAY 6

GOKU:

Only 1 more day to go. I think he could actually make it. Well, probably not, but hey you know, there's still hope.

Right now, he's muttering 'I'm an honorary kiwi.' over and over again.

I was just sure I would be the first to saying that. After about 2 hours of the kiwi thing, Bulma told him he couldn't come home until he 'saned up'.

I had to drive him to my house, because he refused to fly on his own. Yeah, I kind of hit stuff. And I got lost, once or twice… or several… times.

Now I have to watch him while Chichi's at the grocery store and Goten is at school.

I build him a fort to keep him occupied, but then he deiced that he was in the Grand Canyon and there was a rock slid that killed him and now he haunts my house as an honorary ghost kiwi.

And he's been running around screaming that for about three hours now. I'm trying to watch TV, but he keeps running in front of it saying 'Guess what?' and when I say what, he says 'I'm an honorary ghost kiwi!'

So then I had to go out, buy some chains, tie him to the couch, gag him, and then tell him to watch TV quietly.

I put on Happy Day's and so he was quiet for a while.

Then I went to call the psychiatrist. The woman at the front desk told me he had been on vacation for three days, even though I had just seem him yesterday!

I turned back around to the couch to tell Vegeta he had to stay insane, but he was gone. I found the chains on the floor.

I grabbed my coat, ran into the front yard and started calling his name in the freezing attic winds…

Then I realized that it was 80 degrees out. So I went back inside and took off my coat, sat in front of the fireplace, read a book, and drank a cup of warm tea.

Then I realized the fire wasn't lit, I was reading a comic book in German my tea was iced, and that Vegeta was still gone!

I ran back outside and search for another agonizing five minutes!

After that I ran back inside, and dialed 911.

A man picked up. "Hello, 911, how can I help you?"

I was about to respond, when I saw Vegeta just standing outside staring at me through the window from the back yard.

"Oh." I said and hung up the phone. "What are you staring at?" I asked.

He pointed to the fruit bowl on the table.

I looked at it, grabbed a kiwi and threw it outside, expecting him to ketch it.

Inside, it rolled into the pond.

Vegeta just stared at it for a moment, his face not changing. "Gasp! My kiwi!" then he ran over to the pound and stood there for a minute. "I have to save it!" then he stood there for another few minutes.

"Are you going to do something?"

"I'm pausing for drama." He whispered. "I'll save you!" he leapt into the water and came back out with his fruit.

"Ahhh!" he screamed. "Fish are attacking me!"

"Actually, those are leaches." I told him.

"Same thing. Ahhh!" he pulled himself out of the pond, and I saw how many were actually on him. He was covered in them, they were on his arms, his legs, his face, everywhere!

He ran inside and dialed his home phone number. "Omigosh! Bulma, Goku took me to his house, and then me made me a fort, and then I broke the fort, and then there was a kiwi and I fell into the pound and now I'm covered with leaches!" he cried quickly. Then he calmed, and said, "And leaches are also covered with GERMS!!!!"

Bulma was silent for a moment. "Well, that's great, but you need to come get your duck because the boys are-"

Vegeta abruptly dropped the phone and ran out of the house.

BULMA:

"And the boys are-" I heard something drop, and said, "Vegeta? Are you okay?"

"No, because Prince Wilston IV is in danger!" he yelled.

"He's not in eminent danger, hon, he's just…"

"Then why did I run all the way over here?!" he asked. I turned around and he was standing right behind me. I shrugged and hung up the phone. "What are they doing to him?!"

I pointed to the window.

"Now, Wilston, don't move. Or this arrow will go right through your heart."

"Wilston!" he screamed and raced outside. He found that the boys had tied the poor thing to a dartboard and were aiming for the apple on his head with arrows.

"Noooo!!!" Vegeta jumped in front of the arrow, just in time for it to hit him in the head. It turned out to just be an arrow that stuck to you when it hit you. Only, the boys had lined it with supper glue.

Vegeta sat up and rubbed his forehead. He pulled on the arrow, but it held fast. He tugged on it with all he had, and it finally popped off, leaving a big red mark on his forehead.

He yelled in pain, and then was after the boys in a second.

I heard them screaming from outside. It was then that I realized I probably shouldn't have taken away his gloves.

When Vegeta came back, he had Wilston with him. He walked past me and into the bathroom were he closed the door. A minute later, the bathtub went on. Vegeta walked back out and onto the couch. He didn't even bother to wash his hands. I had taken all the soap away, so there was no way he could.

We watched a movie, and then fell asleep.

About an hour later, I woke up, but Vegeta was still sleeping.

I went to the bathroom, and pulled open the door. Wilston spilled out into the hallways along with about 30 gallons of water.

The bathtub was still running.

"Vegeta!" I shrieked.

He jumped and ran over to where I was. "What?"

"You left the water on!"

He shrugged. "Is that all? I'm going back to bed."

I trudged into the water and turned it off. I was heading back, when I heard something crack. My eyes widened. The floor was breaking!

I scrambled back into the hallway, making it just before the bathroom floor fell onto the first floor.

I could see the kitchen clearly from the second floor. "Veeeggggeeetaaa!"

He came over again, and then saw the floor. "Uh, I didn't do it!" then he ran off down the hall. He came back though, grabbed Wilston, and then went back.

I called for a repairman, and he said it would take a week to fix.

In the mean time, I had Vegeta clean up all the water. Of course he refused to touch the mop before I sterilized it, and he wouldn't stand in the kitchen until he got knee high rubbed boots. He also wanted a bag a red Gummy Bears, but I told him to forget about it.

As I watched him mop up all the water, witch he wasn't very good at, I got to thinking that maybe I should give him his gloves back. He just wasn't Vegeta without them. He was some nutso germ freak with no life except to battle bacteria all day. He was a weirdo. And he would die a weirdo. But he was _my _weirdo.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" Vegeta asked.

I hadn't been aware I was talking out loud.

"I'm not a weirdo, Bulma, I'm just very different." He said defiantly.

After all the water was cleaned up, Vegeta wondered off again. I should have been watching him, but I didn't think to at the time. I just figured he would be okay.

When I found him, he was in our bedroom, covering it all in plastic. Where he got all that plastic from, I don't know.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm germ proofing the room!"

"You know that's not going to work, right?" I asked.

He ignored me though.

Wilston waddled by in the hallway.

"You know, your going to have to set him free eventually." I said.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! We can sell him to the NASA program for kids!" he told me.

"What? Why would NASA want a duck?"

"Duck? Wait, are we talking about the same person here?" he asked, turning around from his plastic.

"Wilston?"

"I thought we were talking about Trunks!" I rolled my eyes. "But, I like Wilston. He's not as annoying."

"He's a wild animal. You have to bring it back to the pond so he can be with all the other ducks." I said with a sympathetic look.

"But, he's so cool and furry!"

"I think you're a little confused, but yes he is very cool. Not many people can say that a duck thought they were its mother for a week."

He sulked for a moment. "Alright. I'll let him go. When he gets older!"

"Alright, he can stay until he gets older. Then you have to set him free, Vegeta. You can't keep him here forever."

VEGETA:

Then I thought, hey, there is a way to keep him!

I ran out of the room, and into Bra's. "Guess what you're going to do."

"What?" she asked.

"You are going to marry Prince Wilston IV."

"I get to marry a prince? Cool! Is he cute?"

"Well, he's a bit on the short side, and he tends to steel the conversation all the time."

"So he's like you?"

I shrugged and pulled Wilston out from behind my back.

"What?! You want me to marry your stupid duck?!"

"Only so he can stay in the family! I can't have him marry Trunks, cause he's not a homosexual!" I cried.

Her mouth dropped. "Why can't he stay in the family?"

"Because mom wants me to _set him free_! I wanna keep him forever! And ever, and ever, and ever, and ev-"

"Okay dad, stop! I got it!"

"So, will you marry my duck?" I asked.

"No. If he's already part of the family, that would be disgusting! Plus he's not anything close to a human."

"You wanna marry a human as well? My grandkids are going to be so weak. But he'll be a very loving husband!" I told her.

" I really, don't care! I'm not marrying that duck, get out of my room!"

Then she started to throw things at me. So I left, and went to find Pan.

I knocked on Gohan's door. His daughter opened it and gave me a funny look.

I offered her Wilston. "Will you marry him?"

"What?! I'm not marrying your chicken!"

"Not a chicken! He's a duck!"

"I don't care what he is, I'm marrying him!" Pan cried.

"But he's lonesome."

"But I don't want to have freakish duck babies! Dad! Vegeta's here and he's trying to marry me to his duck!"

"Go home Vegeta! You need some rest!" Gohan yelled from somewhere inside.

"But I need someone to marry him if I wanna keep him!"

"Go home!" Pan said. "Dad, he's not leaving!"

"Don't worry, honey. He's just temporarily insane."

I frowned, and kicked her in the shin lightly, and ran away, Wilston down my shirt.

I went all the way to Kame-house. Krillin was there with his brat. I showed her the duck. "Marry him." I said in a demanding tone.

"What?!" She asked, cocking her said to one side.

"Marry Wilston so I don't have to set him free!" I whined.

"But, I don't wanna marry a duck! I wanna marry a boy!" She stuttered.

"Oh, you do not! Boys smell really bad, and they never put gas back in the car! I know, I have Trunks. Wilston, is waterproof! That's way better!"

She gave me a funny look, and started to walk away.

"Wait!" I said chasing after her. "I need you to help me!"

"My dad says that I have to marry people." She answered.

"Well, that's just races. If you want to marry Trunks, then that's never going to happen. He's an ape, you know!"

"You're mean!" she said and stalked inside. She shut the door and left me outside.

I went back to the city and landed on the sidewalk. There were many girls around, but none of them seemed like they really wanted to marry Wilston.

Then I came across a girl with wacky hair, a backward tie-dye shirt, and bright purple pants.

I showed her Wilston and asked her to marry him.

"Um, sure! I'll marry your duck!" she said and held him while she rubbed her face on him. "He's adorable!"

I smiled triumphantly. "Finally! I found a taker! Now come on!" I grabbed her hand and took her back to Capsule Corp.

I burst in through the door. "I found someone!"

Bulma came into the room. "Yeah, Vegeta, a lot of people are outside. They are all someone's."

"No! I mean, I found someone to marry Wilston! She said that she would!" I pointed to the girl.

"You can't just have a stranger off the street come and marry your duck! That's crazy!" Bulma told me.

The girl, witch looked way too old for Wilston, spoke up. "My name is Jenny,"

"See? We know her already!" I threw my arm around her, and she grinned.

Bulma's face fell. "Jenny, I'm sure you're a nice girl and all, but Wilston is a duck, and my husband is, well, psychologically insane."

Jenny blinked. "But, I've already married a tree, a rock, and a skyscraper!"

Oh. So the girl was a nutcase. You can't marry a rock! That's ridiculous! I grabbed her by the arm and began to drag her outside were I locked her out.

She blinked at the door slowly, and walked off when she go distracted by a truck.

Later that day, I held additions to find Wilston the perfect wife.

"And why would you be a good wife?" I asked one woman.

"Well, I can cook, clean and I can lap dance!" she cried giddily.

I slowly blinked. "Uh, thanks. Don't bother calling my people, because we won't call you back. Next!"

The next person to walk in was a beautiful woman with bright blue hair and ocean eyes. She had a frown on her pouty lips and her eyebrows were knitted together.

"Vegeta!" Wow! She even knows my name! "What are you doing?"

"And what's your name?" I asked.

She blinked. "I'm Bulma! Your wife!"

I stared at her for a moment. "Bulma, you can't be married to me, and to Wilston. You have to choose one of us."

She grit her teeth. "What are you doing, and who are all these women?!"

I looked around at the ten women there stood around the room. They were all beautiful, except for the one that was obviously a man.

"They are here to see if they have what it takes to become a good wife for Wilston." I answered.

She seemed to be mad, because she started yelling. "Get them out of here, now!"

After everyone had gone, she looked me in the eye. "Vegeta, you have to stop this. You are being insane. I know you really want your gloves back…"

"Gloves?" I asked. I had completely forgotten about my gloves in my haste to find Wilston a wife.

"You forgot about them?" she asked. "Hey! That means your cured!" I heard her say from down the hall in the room I was in before I ran out to wash my hands.

Well, I did eventually find Wilston a wife, but I'll never tell who it is! Not until the wedding tomorrow! This is going to be so great! I get to be the best man, _and _he doesn't have to leave when he gets older! Life, is good.

Thanks to:

Jedi Videl Spiderfan

Awful

Brandon B

Candy the Duck

Chibi Mirai Gogeta

Chuquita

Clarobell

Clarobell

Corri18

Dark ki a.k.a. Lee

dbzlover123

gippal-ec-rud

Heather

Kataan

Lady Tauntaun

Laevus

Leelo77

LilAngelLady21

LilAngelLady21

limelie

Ollee

PanPan

Phenomenon

Phenomenon

ROUGEFURY

S.P.12

SKC-ANIME-LOVER

SonBriefsgirl12

Val-Helsing

Vegeta's little shadow

VegetasLoverBulmaBriefs

Veggie's Badbabe

VeryShortMidget

WhiteEevee

Yasai45

Super-Veggie-San

megan

kathyhime85


	8. This Can't Go On!: Day 7 Part 1

BULMA:

"Dun, dun, dun-dun, dun, dun, dun-dun, dun, dun, dun-dun, dun!" Vegeta sang loudly down the hall.

"What are you doing now?" I asked with a roll of my eyes.

"Dun-dun, dun, dun, dun-dun!" he continued to hum the wedding song.

"Vegeta!" I yelled.

"Dun, dun-!" I interrupted.

"Stop that!"

"Don't you want to know why I'm humming?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yes! What are you doing?" I asked again.

"Wilston is to be married today. And I have taken the liberty of inviting everyone I can stand!" Then he marched off, "Dun, dun, dun…."

My mouth hung open. "You invited everyone to come and see your duck get married?! To who?!" I called after him, but he was already half way down the hall.

I chased after him, until I came into the living room. There were many flowers and frilly things hung all around the room. And they seemed to be there on purpose.

"Who put all this here?" I asked.

"I did." Vegeta answered as he put up some more ribbon.

"Why?"

"Because Wilston told me to." He answered and pointed to the duck that was sitting on the couch in a tiny tuxedo that looked adorable.

Next to him, was a girl that I recognized as our next door neighbor. "Nanari, did you agree to marry Vegeta's duck?"

"Nanari?!" Vegeta asked spinning around. "You were suppose to be Sono!"

"She's sick today, I'm filling in." Nanari answered with a shrug.

"Okay, whatever. Wilston doesn't have a problem, so neither do I." Vegeta turned back to putting up some more stuff. "You wouldn't happen to have a tux I could borrow, huh Bulma?"

"Why would I have a tux you could borrow? I'm a girl, you know!"

"Oh yeah… well do you know where I could get one?"

I sighed. "There's one in your closet upstairs."

He nodded. "Trunks! Bra! Are you ready yet?!"

Trunks came down first. He had on a black tuxedo with cufflinks and everything. He looked very unhappy. "Dad, why do we have to do this? Wilston is a duck. Don't you think it would make more sense to marry him to a duck?"

"None of them are good enough for him! He is a prince you know." Vegeta answered.

Bra came down next. She was in a bride's maid's outfit. It was pink and purple with like frillies that I knew she didn't like all over it.

"Did your father pick out those outfits for you?" I asked.

They both shook their head. "No, Grandma did."

I rolled my eyes. I should have known.

"And here's yours!" Vegeta said and handed it to me. It was the exact same one as Bra's.

"How did you know my size?"

"I read it off the Internet from some guy… I mean! From your closet." He grinned.

I gave him a suspicious look, and then headed to the bedroom. I'll play along with this… 'Wedding' for a while… But I don't think he can legally do this!

I changed into the poofy dress. It was terribly ugly. But, I don't think Vegeta even really noticed.

Then I went to the computer to see if he can really marry a human to a duck. I also looked up if the duck's best interest counted, and if a little girl can be married without a parent signing.

I looked for a long time, and it turns out he _can _do this. He _can _marry a duck to a human. And since the particular human is older then 13, then she has the choice to be married or not. Had it been another human, then she would have needed a parent signature.

But then I thought, was there a law that the duck had to be a certain age? I looked it up, and it turned out, by some wacky twisted rule, that the duck did have to be old enough. Or have a guardian with him at the wedding.

I rushed off to tell Vegeta this.

"I'm already way ahead of you, Bulma!" He pointed to the table. "Wilston's mom and dad!"

I looked at him dully. "Vegeta, that's a goose, and a chicken."

"Adoptive parents!" he cried.

"Do they have legal rights to him?!" I yelled. Jeez, I was fighting with my husband over the well being of a stupid duck. This has to be the dumbest thing we've fought over yet.

No, wait. There was that one time when we fought over what to fight about. And that time we fought about weather hot dogs should be microwaved inside the bag to keep in the flavor or to be opened so that they don't explode. Now _that _was the dumbest thing we ever fought over.

Anyway, back to the duck thing. "Vegeta, you can't just pick up any old birds and say that they are Wilston's parents! Technically, he thinks _you're_ his parent." I shouldn't have told him that.

"You're right! I'll go have Bra go print up some legal documents so the wedding can go on!" he started to walk off.

"But if you get them, then he won't have to be married in the first place! You're only doing this so you can keep him hear at the house!"

He paused for a moment. "Can't I just have the wedding anyway? I mean this thing already coasts close to a half a million dollars!"

"What?!" I cried. "What could you have possibly spent half a million dollars on?!"

"Well, there was all the decorations, the outfits, and then I had to get them a honey-moon, and then I needed a stripper for the bachelor party, and…"

"You hired a stripper?!" I asked, almost ready to just take him back to Goku's house.

"No… of… course not…" he said, his eyes darting away from me for an instant.

I sighed. He used to be such a calm person. Well, not calm. More like always-angry psycho with mood swing issues. But he was _my _always-angry psycho with mood swing issues… guy!

"Vegeta, I can't let you live like this!" I cried and hugged him.

"I know you always cry at weddings, Bulma, but it hasn't even started yet! So just sit right back," he let me to the couch and sat be down. "And hear a tail, and tail of a fateful ship. It started on this tropic isle, abroad this tiny ship." Before I knew it, he was singing the Giligan's Isle song to me.

I just stared as he finished. "Here on Giligan's Isle! There, do you feel better?" he asked, cocking head to one side innocently.

"No!" I wailed and cried on his shoulder.

"There, there… here, but this on you're head." He handed me a paper bag.

"Why?"

"So no one will see you're tears of joy." He answered gravely and stood. He walked over; no he _floated _over to the stairs. There was something to his walk that was a little funny. It was like a woman's walk… only more masculine. Like a gay man's walk!

I shook my head. He's just a little crazy right now. If I get him his gloves back, then he'll be saved!

Only one problem though… I forgot where I put them!

I scrabbled to my feet, and headed up to the bedroom. They had to be there somewhere!

VEGETA:

"Um, Mr. Crazy guy?" Nanari asked. I figured that was me, because I was the only other person in the room.

I turned and looked at her.

"Wilston swallowed the ring…"

"Oh great! Not again! Now I have to get another one! Come with me!" I walked out of the house with her behind me.

We went to the drug store on the corner of the block. I took out a quarter from my pocket and put it into the candy machine. I turned the knob, and out popped a ring in a plastic case.

"These rings are made of candy?!" Nanari asked in shock.

"I'm not made of money you know!" I cried and we headed back to the house.

Back at the house, I made sure to keep the ring away from Wilston. "Ring swallower!" I yelled at him.

He looked at me and peeped.

I rolled my eyes. He was such a baby sometimes.

I had to find Bra now to print up some documents.

"Daddy, that crazy. I can't just print out some legal documents for you! I wouldn't even know what to put on it!"

"Just put, 'Vegeta is Wilson's legal guardian, so there.'"

She turned to the computer to look it up. "Uh, it looks like it has to be a certain number of words…"

"Oh well, just put this there until the words match up." I typed something on the computer.

She blushed. "Um, okay…"

I left her alone for a while, while she typed that up.

I had to find someone to be the ring barrier. I need someone young and cute. Me! No wait, I've already got a job!

Let's see… Marron! No, she's a girl…

Huh… I guess we have no cute, young boys around anymore. How about someone that looks young, and hot! Me! No! I already have a job!

Uh… hmmm.

I have to find Bulma now. I opened the door to our bedroom, and hardly noticed that it was in shambles. She had literally torn the place apart.

"Bulma," I said.

She jumped, banding her head on the bed she was underneath. "What?" she asked, annoyed.

"I need a young, hot boy to be the ring barer, but I can't think of anyone."

She looked at me as though I was mad.

"Well, okay, I did think of me, but I already have a job!"

She blinked slowly. "Did you try Brad Pitt?"

"Why him?"

"Because, he's _dreamy_!" she said with a dazed look.

I cocked an eyebrow. He will be on my next hit list. Kill Brad Pitt, so I will once again be the hottest man alive!

"Do you know Brad Pitt?" I asked instead of telling her my plan.

"Well…no. But I wanted to marry him before I met you! Does that count? Anyway, how about you use… uh… Yamcha!"

"Too old!"

"Tien?"

"Even older!"

"Chiaozu?"

"Too… yes! He's perfect! Thanks Bulma!" I ran over to the phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?" Tien asked like he'd never spoken on a phone before. "Are you a telemarketer? Because if you are, I'm hanging up!"

"Can I talk to Chiaozu? I need to ask him a favor."

"Vegeta?"

"What?"

"Okay, I guess…" some shuffling went on in the background before Chiaozu picked up.

"Hello?" he asked in his high voice.

"I need you to be the ring barer at Wilston's wedding!" I cried quickly.

"Really? Wow! Sure I'll do it!"

"Thanks!" I hung up and turned to Bulma. Her mouth was wide open.

"I didn't think he'd say yes!" she told me.

I shrugged. "Good things come to bossy people. Just look at you for instance!"

"That analogy didn't even fit with what I said! And what do you mean I'm bossy?!" I rolled my eyes. Now to see how Bra was doing.

BULMA:

Vegeta was over doing this a bit. He's always been a little crazy, but not like this. Not like this!

He was gone from the room for only a few minutes, before he returned, and showed me a piece of paper.

I read it allowed. " 'Vegeta Brief is the Legal Guardian of Wilston Duck, so there. S-' Vegeta! All it says after that is 'Screw Kakorot' over and over!"

"Nu-uh! Right there is says 'Skewer Kakorot'!" he pointed to the seconded to the last word. "But that's just a typo."

I sighed, and handed the papers back to him. "Why are you doing this?"

"I just want Wilston to be happy…" he said, his eyes darting away from me.

"Did it ever occur to you that Wilston may not _want _to get married?" I asked.

He thought for a moment. "Hmm…. No." then he marched off again, humming that stupid song.

I sighed again. There just had to be a way to stop this wedding! So, I did the only thing I could. I called the one person I knew could stop this no matter what, and not let emotion get in the way.

"Hello? Piccolo? Yeah, I need you're help."

Within minutes, he was at the front door.

"What's this I hear about a wedding?" he asked.

I explained to him what the whole stupid thing was about, and how he would have to stop it.

He thought for a moment. "Well, the only way to stop Vegeta when he's set on doing something crazy, which is often, is bribery. All we have to do is…." He started to mutter some stuff to me quietly.

"What? Do what? I can't hear you!" I complained.

He sighed. "Forget it. I'll do it myself." He then set off to do only God knows what.

I blinked at his retreating form. Then I smelt something burning. Thinking quickly, I put together the clues.

"Vegeta's making a wedding cake…. Duh." I started off to the kitchen in the unforgivingly poofy dress.

When I got there, I found him trying to the do that exactly, but he wasn't using the oven.

"You can't cook that over the stove!" I yelled at him, and turned off the flame underneath it.

"But… I didn't know how to turn on the oven, and this seemed like a better idea." He smiled brightly. No, it was more like the smile of an insane man instead.

It looked like a pancake, which was cooked on one side, burnt by the way, and still gooey on the top. "You can't even cook a pancake right!"

Trunks came into the room. "What's cooking?"

"Guess!" I showed him the pan.

He looked at it for a moment, "Was dad making taco salad again?" he asked innocently.

I rolled my eyes. "Get out of here, both of you!"

"But Wilston needs a cake!" Vegeta whined, stamping his foot like a three-year-old. "I refuse to move until I see a cake!" he crossed his arms.

"Fine! I'll make you're cake! Why don't you go check on the Prince?" I asked, just to get him out of the room.

"But I'm right here… oh! You mean Wilston!" he cried and sped out of the room.

I was about to yell at Trunks too, but he had left at the words, 'I'll make you're cake'.

It was literally about two minutes after I got started, when I hear an ear-splitting yelp of agony. Then the sound of feet running around upstairs was heard, coming my way. I had a feeling I was about to figure out what happened.

And sure enough, Vegeta burst into the room, panting, and looking as pale as a ghost. "Wilston's gone!" he shrieked.


	9. This Can't Go On!: Day 7 Part 2

BULMA:

"He was right upstairs in our room, and now he's gone! He's gone! What could have happened?!" Vegeta continued to shriek.

"Calm down! I'm sure that he's around here somewhere!" I said, patting his back.

"You don't know that! He could be anywhere!"

"Can't you just sense him?"

"His energy is too weak for me to find him!" Vegeta wailed. "He's gone forever!" he collapsed onto the couch. "I never got to see him take his first flight, or eat a whole worm without me chewing it up first, or anything!"

I thought for a moment. Where could that duck be?

__

Forget it. I'll do it myself.

Piccolo had said that, hadn't he?

I walked out of the room, and to the nearest phone. I dialed the number. "Dende?"

"Yes?!" he asked, some loud music going on the background.

"Why is the music so loud?!" I yelled to him.

"To keep Piccolo from bothering me! What do you need?!" He had to yell just so I could hear him.

"Do you know where Piccolo is at the moment?!"

"He left this morning, and I haven't seen him since! Why?!"

"Because I think he may have something of Vegeta's!"

"You mean his chicken?!" Dende asked.

"Not a chicken!" Vegeta cried in the background.

"Do you know where we might find him?!" I yelled, ignoring Vegeta.

"The chicken?!"

"No! Piccolo!"

"Not a chicken!" Vegeta told him again.

"Try the waterfall! He hangs out there a lot!"

"Okay! Thanks!" I hung up. "Vegeta, I think I know where to find Wilston!"

"I know at the waterfall." He answered.

"You knew? How?"

"How could I not hear? The conversation was practically everywhere!"

"Well, anyway, we're going to find you're duck, don't worry." With that, I grabbed his hand and pulled him outside.

I told him to fly me to the waterfall.

Once there, we found Piccolo meditating over the pond.

"Piccolo!!" I screamed as loud as I could.

He jerked from surprise and looked at me. "What?!"

"Do you have Prince Wilston?" Vegeta asked.

"Wha?" Piccolo seemed confused.

"Do you have his chicken!" I explained.

"Duck!"

"Oh, you mean the little fur ball? Why would I have him?"

"Because you said, 'Forget it. I'll do it myself!' I remember!" I protested.

"And ducks have feathers, not fur!" Vegeta told him, sticking out his tongue.

Piccolo descended and moved to stand in font of us. He cocked an eye… ridge… "Who would want to take you're duck anyway?"

"I figured it would have been you! That seemed like the obvious bet!" I told him.

"Taking the duck… that would have been a good idea! But, I didn't think of it in time. What I did was much worse! And it was the perfect crime…I have to be in court on Tuesday…" he muttered.

"What did you do?" Vegeta asked.

"Nothing! Don't worry about it!" he was obviously lying.

"…Okay… where's Wilston?!"

"Calm down, Vegeta! We'll find you're chi-"

"Duck." He sulked.

"Duck. We'll find you're duck." I said with sympathy.

"You people are crazy…" Piccolo then resumed his position over the waterfall.

Back at the house, I went to my room to see if I could find anything that could help us. There, I looked for a while, until I stumbled upon something in the closet.

"Yes!" I cried, and ran out of the room.

VEGETA:

Wilston! Gone! Never to be seen again!

I was sitting in the living room. But I wasn't pouting! Princes don't pout. They sulk with a very sour face, and their arms crossed.

Just then, Bulma ran into the room, and presented me with a high-heeled shoe.

"Unless Wilston is in there, I don't want it." I told her.

She shook her head. "No! Look inside!"

I took the shoe and put my hand inside. There was something inside, bunched up in a mess. I pulled it out, and recognized at once what they were. "My gloves!"

"I found them! Now that you have them back, can you stop all this nonsense?" she asked.

I shook my head as I put them on. "I will not rest until Wilston is found, and brought back home!"

Just then, a yellow ball of fluff walked into the room.

"I gave him a bath… but… it no turn out so good." Nanari said, a towel swung around her shoulder.

"Wilston!" I cried, and scooped him up. "You mean he was here, all along?!"

"Yeah… didn't you know that?" Nanari looked puzzled.

"The wedding can go on!"

"What?!" Bulma asked. "But! You got you're gloves back! You won! You don't need to marry him to a little girl!"

"Why not? He'll be happy!"

She sighed and stalked off.

Later on, when everything was set up and ready, it was time for the wedding!

Wilston sat on the altar, chewing on his tie.

Everyone that was invited sat in their pews, waiting for the bride to come down. (Some of them I had to tie to their chairs because they kept trying to leave.)

The music started playing, and Nanari walked down the ale.

"Dearly beloved. We have gathered here today…" the priest started.

"Dad…" Trunks whispered. "I have to go to the bathroom…"

"Hold it." I muttered back to him.

"Do you, Wilston, take Nanari to be you're wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, for ever more?"

Wilston said nothing. In fact, he wasn't even paying attention. I flicked him lightly. He peeped.

"And do you, Nanari, take Wilston to be you're husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, for ever more?"

"I do!" she chirped.

"If anyone should object to this marriage, speak now or forever hold you're peace."

There was silence for a moment.

"I do!" Some random person, whom I didn't know, stood up. "I don't think that that little girl, should be marrying a duck! It's unheard of!" the woman had to be around 45, with grayish hair and a wrinkled face.

I stared at her blankly. Then I snapped my fingers. "Guards."

Three men came to drag her out of the backyard.

The priest cleared his throat. "Um, anyone else?"

No one answered.

"You may now kiss the-!"

"I object!" I turned to see that none other than Bulma was standing there, with her hand raised. "I too don't think these two should be married. It is against the laws of nature! Don't you all agree?" she turned to look at all the other people there.

"Bulma, honey, sit down! You're ruining the wedding!" her mother scolded.

"Mother! You can't be serious?!"

"Shhh!" her mother hissed.

Bulma groaned. "You are all crazy! Especially you, Vegeta!"

"Me?" I was offended!

"Yes! You! I gave you you're gloves back, what more could there be that you want so you'll stop this?!"

I was about to answer, when all of a sudden, some crazy man in a suit ran into the yard.

"Look! It's Batman!" one of the younger kids cried.

"What that?!" Nanari asked.

"That is right! I am the unstoppable, Batman! You will all obey my command! This wedding shall not go on!" then he continued to run around the lawn, with his cape clutched in his fists as if they were wings. He cried 'Whoosh!' every so often, to further detail the effect.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am Batman! Keeper of the peace, and punisher of wrong doers!" he stated as he continued to run.

"Mom, I'm scared." Goten stated as he watched.

"Whoosh!" 'Batman' cried.

We could do nothing but stare; it was too hard to look away.

"Are you done?" I asked, after a few minutes.

Batman slowed. "Yeah, I'm kind of tired." Then he promptly sat down to watch the rest of the wedding.

"Um. Without further interruptions, I proclaim you husband and w-!" the priest was interrupted again, this time buy a big balloon.

"Does God not want this wedding to happen?!" I asked, rather loudly.

The balloon landed, and a man stepped out.

"Brad!" Nanari squealed. She ran over to him and flung herself into his arms.

"Nanari, I can't live without you! Will you be my bride?" he asked.

"Oh, yes!" With that, they started to make out.

"Ew!" Someone from the audience cried.

I frowned deeply as they floated away in the balloon. "Who now marry to Wilston?" I asked.

"What?" Bulma questioned.

"I think he means, 'Who's going to marry Wilston now?'." Yamcha whispered to her.

Wilston peeped.

"What was that?" I asked him, leaning in to hear him.

He did a series of other peeps.

I cleared my throat. "Wilston has decided that he doesn't want to get married. He would rather grow a little more before getting tethered down by a woman."

Many women's mouths hung open, appalled.

"Now, all of you, get the hell out of here." I turned, and went back to the house.

I went back inside, stripping off my suit as I went. I was down to my spandex shorts, and my gloves after a while. I sighed contently, and rubbed my hand over my face. Beautiful leather. That's all I ever wanted. Something to keep my hands away from all these… germs…

Author:

And so that's how it went. Batman turned out to be the mailman Piccolo had paid to dress up as Batman to crash the wedding. When he didn't do a good job, Piccolo got pissed off, and sued him. When the court refused to take his case, he got more pissed off, but there was nothing he could do because everyone knows that judges have powers.

Nanari and Brad lived happily ever after in Australia with wild kangaroos, and wallabies. They even adopted a baby Tasmanian devil, but it bit Brad. So they got rid of it after he got all of the rabies shots for extra precaution.

Trunks is still waiting to go to the bathroom, because Vegeta locked everyone outside so they wouldn't bother him. He claims that his kidneys are going to explode, if he doesn't go soon. Yamcha told him to go in the bushes, but that's unsanitary!

Bulma's still banging on the door, and demanding he let her in. She's promised many things to come if he didn't open the door. Many bad things, that involve raw chicken, old peaches, and fruit cake. Shutter _Fruitcake_. The worst of all my enemies.

Choatuz never got to be the ring bearer, because Vegeta gave up on the rings when Wilston swallowed the 16th one. The duckling now makes a funny sound when you shake him, like maracas.

Goten is still freaked out by Batman, because when he was little, a man dressed as Batman came to Trunk's birthday party, and gave him a sloppy kiss. He was scared for life.

Jenny; she currently holds the record for 'Most Trees/Ducks Married in One Day'.

Goku never got over the image of Vegeta at his worst moment of insanity. To this do, he can't look at him for very long without bursting out laughing.

And Vegeta? Well, let's just say he spends a lot more time at the park where one day he will get up enough courage to finally let Wilston free.

And to think, this all started with Bra noticing that Vegeta never took off his gloves. The moral is, gloves keep ducks from being raised by psychos, and almost marrying a little girl and getting his heart broken. They also keep Batman away from Goten.

That's it! This was fun to right. If you didn't like this chapter, say so, and I'll re-write it if enough people say so. R&R please!


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